"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:1-4
The third stage of showing respect for, and honouring, parents passes from compliance through courtesy to caring, in genuine and practical terms. From being cared for, children, now grown up, become carers and show care to their parents, when they are no longer so able to care for themselves. There is often a great deal of dedicated and devoted honouring of parents by sons and daughters in this way which is an inspiration to behold when long years of devoted, and often costly, caring for frail and disabled parents magnifies Christ by the sheer quality and extent of the love and care ministered to them, in the fulfilment of a precious stewardship committed to them. But this is also an area where tensions and difficulties sometimes arise. As the commentator says, the big question is not 'What shall we do?' but 'What would be the best for my parents?' It can hardly be controverted that this is something that creates many feelings of guilt, and often with least justification, for there are many situations in which guilt operates even where the quality of care has been most dedicated and devoted, far beyond the call of either duty or filial love and loyalty. There comes a time when loved ones pass the point where it is physically possible for love and tenderness to be able to cope, and when professional care and nursing becomes a necessity. It can hardly be doubted that people are very vulnerable here, and need firm reassurance that it is right as well as inevitable for loved ones to enter full-time care.