"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:1-4
One of the commentators gives a useful outline, mentioning three 'stages' in the ongoing development of a child's or young person's life. First of all, when a child is at home and dependent on parents, respect and honouring, in terms of the commandment, will involve obedience, and this means compliance with the parents' decisions, directions and demands. The importance of this is that from the outset we all have to learn the need for submission to authority, and that such submission does not normally restrict freedom, but liberates us into freedom. And where better than in the context of a loving family can this be learned? God always intended that the child must believe that his parents will never ask him to do anything but what is for his good and that with the passage of the years the child should come to the understanding that not only does the parents' store of experience of life give them the right to offer guidance and advice, but also that this is God's order for both parents and children.
The second stage in showing respect and in honouring parents changes from compliance to courtesy, and it is marked by the change from dependence to independence. In some ways this is a very difficult transition for the reason that modern life today has opened up so many more doors for young people than their parents ever had - in education, learning, expertise, skills - with the result that many young people may be cleverer and better equipped than their parents. But they are not necessarily wiser. And therein lies a snare and a danger for them, for they can so easily fall into the error of looking down, rather disparagingly, on their parents, forgetting that it is only the passage of years and the experience of life that can teach wisdom. This is why courtesy, in terms of genuinely listening to what parents say about this or that situation, is such a vital necessity, for the very good reason that parents have often had to learn the hard way, through bitter experience, and have found wisdom that way, which they want to pass on to their children.